A Daily Thing

Dear hair: why so dry?  I seriously am on my way to looking like a crazy witch.

Dear Angus and Julia Stone: why so mumbly?  I thought you were talking about Dustin Hoffman having a tantrum in your song ‘The Beast’ (‘stomping Rainman’??), instead of understanding your sweet poetic reminder to have your life under control (‘don’t be running late’)*.

By the way, I love your music.

Dear weather: why so hot?

Dear France: why so far?

Dear Bonsoy: why so full of iodine you had to be recalled?  I cannot live without you, and have had to do without my drink of choice for the last few weeks.  Not cool.

Dear teeth: why so sore?  You are not only still killing me, you are sharing your pain with my right eye and ear.  Why?!

Dear Lucas Paw Paw ointment: why made primarily from petroleum jelly?  I thought you were good for me.  You bastard.

Dear sugar-free vegan dark chocolate: hello.

Dear Christian and Mira: let me kiss you on the nose.  It will make me feel better.  I know neither of you like it much, but please take one for the team (ie, me).  Much appreciated.

*If you think this is funny, consider this other musical misunderstanding of mine: ‘Hey now, you’re an oyster’.

(Image is from here).