Remembrance of morons past: ‘Now, lift your leg!’
I was filling medical history papers yesterday and had to list all the operations I’ve ever had.
Every time I write ’1996: knee’ a flood of memories come back. All pretty much unpleasant. A lot surrounding my scalpel-happy surgeon.
That knee operation is probably the one time in my life when I was in the most physical pain, and it kept on giving: being attached to a bottle via my leg for 3 days, blood-thinning injections for 2 weeks (and those happen in your belly – and they’re bad!), crutches for 6 months.
So, what about lifting legs? Well, when I went back to my surgeon after a month, he took my leg (which had not bent in a month), and bent it. In less than 30 seconds. Aw aw aw aw AW – come on! And when it was bent over the edge of the table, he looked at me and said ‘Now, lift it back up’.
I tried – it didn’t work. So I looked down and I realised my leg looked different: as in, no longer with any muscles to lift itself with. A melted leg.
When I had figured it out, I looked back up at him: ‘You don’t have muscle anymore see! So you can’t lift it back up.’ He wasn’t sparing me the self-evident humour he was obviously sensing. And all this time I was barely managing not to pass out from the pain.
Lift my leg, right? Tell you what: he was lucky I couldn’t do it. Because I can’t think of anyone I wanted to kick in the face more than him. Then, and 13 years later – just as much.
(I posted this image before, here – but it’s prettier than an image of a splint. Or my scar for that matter!)
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elles sont belles tes gambettes…et si tu me redonnes son nom, j’irai lui mettre un coup de pied pour toi…enfin, deux ou trois ou dix, c’est comme tu veux!
bisous
J’ai triché! C’est pas les miennes!!! Si tu vas à la Raphaëlle pour péter les dents à mon chirurgien, s’il-te-plaît emmène le Poussin pour qu’il puisse lui montrer ses fesses aussi :) Non mais!
xxx